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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Random Shots in the Dark (19)





We begin this month with our illustrious Secretary of State, who, it seems has pissed off the Pakistanis, of all people. All I can say to our friends in Pakistan is-get in line. And don't cut in. The line begins yonder-over the mountain and across the sea as the old song goes.

"Go home"



"Is this the I hate Hillary line?"


Nor are folks in Dodgerstan too happy after the Dodgers' "el foldo" against the Phillies this October. To make matters worse, Manny Ramirez decided to catch an early shower in the 9th inning while his teammates were still getting drubbed by the Phils. And if that wasn't enough, Dodgers' owner Frank McCourt is involved in a nasty divorce from his wife-saying that she was involved in an affair with an unnamed Dodgers employee......

The smoking gun

Wait a minute! Manny in the showers....the owner's wife having an affair...

Coincidence? We don't think so.


But back to Secretary Clinton. She was recently asked on TV if she still planned to run for president some day. Of course, her non-verbal communication took over and she cackled in her inimitable way and talked about the great job she has pissing people off around the world. Translation? She still hoping Obama will slip on a banana peel so she can run in 2012 while she's still in her "difficult 60s".

This guy Alan Grayson (D-FL)looks like a real comer in the Democratic Party. I can see him filling Harry Reid's shoes quite nicely after next year's race in Nevada. I figure Reid will pay a heavy price for his bait and switch game with the government option in that monstrosity called a health care bill. He probably has the government option buried on page 1316.

Did'ya hear about that gun-totin' imam in Detroit that got killed in a shoot-out with the FBI?

"Yeh, I did"

To hear CAIR talk about it, this guy was the Father Teresa of Michigan. Just like old H Rap Brown (cop-killer), another imam who killed a cop in Atlanta. CAIR thinks he's innocent too.


"Ya shoulda listened to me, kid."

John Dillinger, gunned down by FBI agents outside a Chicago theater while giving out free movie tickets to the homeless.

And those poor, misunderstood Somali pirates who are kidnapping folks? Why they are really just a bunch of environmentalists trying to protect the waters off Somalia. That's why they took that old British couple hostage for $7 million. They did it for future generations! I think that would be a grand idea for Greenpeace. They could just hoist the old skull and crossbones on their mast and the world would become a cleaner place overnight.

Last night over dinner, my wife turned on an HBO show with Wanda Sykes. Wow! It went something like this:

" That old M...F...er, he don't know sh...! That's why he was F---in' his old lady with an f....in' broom up his a--. Sh--!! He's an ass----! F--- that!"

Then she started talking about education.

"I'll tell somethin' else. Our education system is f----ed up! Damn, We gotta fix it!" (applause from the UC Santa Cruz Community Studies majors in the audience)

Fousesquawk comment: I'll say-and Wanda Sykes is exhibit A.

Then we turned on "Larry King on Life Support". He was talking with a bunch of medians, psychics and ghost-hunters, you know all those folks who communicate with the dead? And guess what? They were all talking to Larry!! Is there a message there?

"Hey Larry, it's wife # 7. She wants to communicate with you."

"I don't think that's funny."


I also saw where Gore Vidal, who I thought had died about 40 years ago, was being interviewed and called the 13-year-old rape victim of convicted child rapist Roman Polanski was a little "whore", and that it was all a big frame up. Someone needs to explain to the erudite Mr Vidal that victims of frame ups don't plead guilty.

"Uhhhh.....yeaaaaah"

Speaking of late, great Gores, guess where the energy expert has shown up this week? On the cover of........................ (drum roll, please)

CostCo magazine (The CostCo Connection).


"He looks so peaceful."
"Just like he's asleep"
"But his eyes are open"
"That's cause he's watching us"

So what is Al Gore doing with Costco? Probably handing out green treats in the aisles, who knows?

Speaking of stupid people, how about Sean Penn? Guess where he has been lately? You guessed it- in Venezuela-kissing the culo of dictator and Fox News critic Hugo Chavez. Why, Penn even said he was going to personally tell Obama not to send any more military advisers to Colombia-you know that bad old country next door whose citizens are being kidnapped by drug-running FARC guerrillas with the support of Dear Old Hugo.

That means Obama has a big decision on his hands-whether to decide first whether to send more help to Colombia or decide first whether to send more help to Afghanistan.

Of course, our Great Leader told American troops this week that if he sent them into harm's way, he would back them to the hilt-except if they asked for reinforcements, that is.

"What'cha gonna doooo, skipper?"

But the most outrageous statement this week comes to us from White House advisor Valerie Jarrett. Asked by a TV reporter if Fox News was biased, she replied, "Of course Fox News is biased". Then asked if MSNBC was biased, she said something like, "Well, I don't want to get into characterizing, but .....blah, blah, blah......, blah, blah, blah, .....but we intend to keep speaking truth to power."


"That's right!"

This just in. It can't be true.


It is true. In Kosovo, they have just unveiled a one ton, gold-covered statue of Bill Clinton (on Bill Clinton Blvd, no less). I'm surprised they didn't put him on horseback. I wonder who he's waving at.

Never mind.

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